So, remember how I was going on about how much I would sleep this weekend? Well things are taking a gloomy turn ooooo.
All I wanted was to just sleep my frigging life away all weekend which seemed like a perfect idea. I have even already made plans on how nicely the weekend would go. (NEPA is sexy these days. Still I have bought petrol). Already bought stuff in the fridge and paid for subscription and shii oh.
First I am so upset. I tried to withdraw and Stanbic deducted my money from my account while blowing hot air into my waiting palms. What the hell? I sharply dug out my phone and called their guy that always comes to my office with stories. Very sweet mouth.
‘Hello pretty ladies’ he would say, sticking his head in my office shining his 38.
‘We at Stanbic are all about moving you forward etc’
He always has some messed up rehearsed line about Stanbic . This money I plan to use to do weekend. Mschewww. And the month has ended oh!!!!
So I called him :
‘Hello Mr Ignatius, this is lagosgirl from Obalende Limited’
‘Aaaah waooooo(not wow) aunty lagos girl so good to hear from you. Ah ah ’
E gba mi, who is dis one’s aunty ?
Anyways I promptly went on to complain and ask how long it takes before the money is returned at which point I get the shocker of my life.
‘They will return it later. Just go to any nearest bransh ….’
I couldn’t even wait to hear the rest. I switched to pidgin mehn
‘Nor just try dis nonsense. Go bransh go do wetin?’
He then went on to explain the lengthy process. I was so upset. I reminded the guy that I did not withdraw inside their bransh so they should just return my money let me see it on the freaking machine. I even told him what kind of moving forward is this sef? This has happened to me with my UBA and FBN accounts before and I didn’t have to run helter skelter to get my money back.
He now started to say ‘aah aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh (in that voice you use when you know someone is giving you bobo to chop and you don’t wanna outrightly say it’s a lie) die is no bank that will give you automatic’
I was now super pissed. I was so vexed and he was still now telling me I’m lying. What kind of customer service is that ? It’s not like there’s a branch close to me. Please look around you. Yes ! YOU ! Look out the window. Do you see a Stanbic branch ? Yes ? No ? I didn’t think so. So maybe I overreacted a little but a broke babe is an angry babe. In fact angrier than a hungry babe. The whole thing just killed my mood men.
Also my laundry basket at the moment runneth over. Will most likely end up dry-cleaning. Also heard there is an office event/show that will take the whole day tomorrow Saturday. (Something that ends at 6 p.m. is the whole day to me oh. Plus it’s even far and I can’t get back home before 9 sef). Huh?
Finally there’s a special program in church on Sunday plus I just got a whatsapp that a bridal shower which had earlier been postponed has been shifted back to 1 pm this Sunday. What do people wear to these things these days? I haven’t had hip female friends in a long time so no girls hangout for a bit. They are all married and rearing offspring. I don’t have cloth to wear *wailing*.
Yours truly is a bridesmaid so I gotta be there. Also the bridesmaid’s dress plus the donation for the shower alone sef played their own part in the rapid evaporation of my September pay. (You see y I took d atm thing muscular with Mr Ignatius). My wallet is not smiling mehn. And there’s still hair and accessories to buy. (October salary already spending itself).
Pray, tell how will I just enjoy my weekend? I have had a full, crazy week I just want to sleep till I hear my alarm on Monday morning. God knows I can’t attend to all these stuff. Not sure which ones I will attend and which I will dodge though. Let me just google an apology message now so by Sunday night I will text/bbm/whatsapp/email/voicenote to appropriate parties.
So what are your weekend plans? Despite my ranting and whining, if you have any where it is happening just control me and I will show oh !!!
Have a fab, fab weekend.
P.S. No personal beef for Stanbic or love for UBA or FBN. Just speaking my mind uncensored.