Long time no
post abi ? Its work o! Best believe me, its work. This my office is stressful
oh! And to think I was in a hurry to leave my old place. It is true what they say,
that the cow that is in a hurry to go to America, will surely come back as
corned beef. Whenever I hear people say
they work for their money I always yimu. But mehn now I just realised what that
phrase means. I am stressed people. I am working hard. Eating more but losing
weight. Ha!!! It is well. The up side is
that I no longer have to worry about the weight I was complaining about
earlier. I never see work na why I dey fat. Right now mehn my office is my gym
and my computer my treadmill.
Apologies
for the tacky metaphor. Seeing as nothing is happening in my life outside work,
I only have work gist for you. Hmmm so where do I start?
Our HR
officer has gone and a new one has replaced her. This woulda made more sense if
I had been updating regularly cos you’d understand why this is blogworthy. But
let me summarise. The babe was just a sourpuss. She just hated me for no reason,
and I her for good reason. Lol.
When I first
got here six months ago, she was on leave so the head of HR gave me my
induction and all the welcome crap. When she resumed she was very nasty to me
and my colleague. She’d see me around and ask why I’m not on my seat.
“I checked
on you since. It seems you have been on break for more than one hour” in her
Yoruba accent. My colleague and I promptly nicknamed her “scarecrow”.
We’re not
supposed to eat in the office so everytime she comes into our office, she makes
noise about how she can smell imaginary food. One day she called my office
extension and she kept yelling my name. I answered and she kept yelling. And I
go “Yeah I can hear you”. So she says ‘how dare you say yeah to me’ and slams
the phone. So my colleague asked what happened and I start to narrate.
Meanwhile after slamming, this woman actually got up from her desk and started
running towards my office. So I was still narrating the phone conversation to
my colleague when she ran in, yelling how I need to be taught manners and
ethics. How dare I say yeah blah blah. And I am actually talking about her and
bad mouthing her after being rude etc. All this in my first week. This babe was just
my nightmare and was always looking to put me in trouble.
Sidenote: We’re
actually on the same level. She is not my superior. And by virtue of category
and salary, I earn more. She’s married though and has been there for close to a
decade so I know she’s older. Sometimes my colleague and I say she’s probably
frustrated and has reason to hate us.
So, you can
imagine my joy and delight, brethren when Admin officer came in to announce
that she would be leaving. Sad part was I had to donate money for her parting
gift. But oh well, I did it. Gladly. Why do babes hate each other?
I don’t know
why I have bad luck with H.R. though. The head of H.R. always complains about
stuff but to my friend who is also in my department, never to me. On Friday my
friend said he expressed displeasure about us opting out from one Staff Welfare
stuff. The way the thing goes is that they deduct from your salary every month
to fund a welfare account. The explanation is that they will keep it so people
can get loans and also gifts when leaving. I did a quick mental calculation and
thought that’s a lot of money and not a lot to spend it on. Also the mail came
in with one voluminous pdf attachment which I just couldn’t be bothered to read
plus as a rule I never borrow. I don’t see myself needing a loan. There’s been
one or two extreme cases and at those times I just ask family. I don’t pay rent
or have kids and I can’t borrow to buy gadgets or travel. I just feel it’s not
responsible. Also the scheme doesn’t let u borrow more than you have put in.
Anyways the important part is that it’s not compulsory so feel free to opt out otherwise
the automatic deduction starts month end. Which I did. And dude has been mad
ever since. Please I need honest answers. What have I done wrong?
One more
office gist. We have this dispatch man who also just got replaced. If you see
dis guy ehn ? Swaggu dripping. Always grumbling and never wanting to go on
errands. Can complain for Africa. And his job is only to dispatch official
mails and that’s only for those within Lagos. For those outside Lagos there’s
someone else to go to DHL office. Anyhoo this guy always grumbles when I try
send him out. And he’s so full of himself. Remember how I didn’t get the
holidays off? I tried to send him on an errand on the 31st and he
refused saying he had to go to church for the 31st night service
which was to start by 4 pm!!!!!
Anyways we
have this big client/sponsor and he was sent on an errand to their office.
Meanwhile there were some of our other staff there already having a meeting.
One of them was chargin his phone and this dispatch man proceeded to take the
phone. Lol. And so when the guy noticed he lodged a complaint, not knowing that
the ant that ate the vegetable is part of the vegetable. Lmao. Dispatch man was
questioned and he denied and threatened. Not knowing he had been caught on
camera. Dude was like 50 metres away from the phone. The camera showed the way
his eyeballs bulged when he saw the phone at the other end of the long sofa. He
then kept moving over slowly till he reached the other end and took it and promptly
removed the battery. He was dismissed immediately and that was the end of
Solomon Grundy.
The new man
is friendly and humble. And all is well with the world.
Thanks to the two
people who checked. I am fine. Just been busy.
Much love
Xoxo
Oh and if
you dare, add me on 75B33997
Have a
pleasant week and forgive the typos and gbagauns. You know I hate reading over.
